Mommy Needs Wine! All in fun? Or a cry for help?


We all have rough days, and by the time five o'clock rolls around, most of us are ready to change gears, to relax, kick back... and do something that doesn't require being laser-focused on a toddler who wants to feed the dog her Legos and flush Hatchimals down the toilet.

On days like this, we might see a mom friend post on Facebook, "Mommy needs wine!" And all the moms rally and offer to show up with wine, or plan to meet at the bar for a much-needed GNO.

I totally get that mommy needs a serious break. I've been there. When I look back to my days as a  young mom, I sometimes wonder how we packed so much into every day when I was E-X-H-A-U-S-T-E-D, with three girls who each had strong opinions about how our time would be spent.

I've been wondering though, if mommy wine culture is becoming an unhealthy obsession. A quick search for "mommy needs wine" on Pinterest brings up pages of wine glasses and t-shirts and memes devoted to the idea that mommy needs her wine to get through the day.

I'm the first to admit that I love my wine (and margaritas by the pool!), but I've been wondering if maybe we should be helping mommy find ways to manage stress and have kid-free time with friends.

Is "Mommy needs wine" just a cute way to say mommy needs to wind down and relax? Or is there more going on?

Do we really need the wine? Or do all these cute memes really mean...

  • She is exhausted.
  • She needs a break.
  • She needs to relax.
  • She needs time to connect with friends.
  • She's ready for some fun.
  • She needs to do something that feeds her soul.

Could Happy Hour become a part of the day where we set aside time to meditate or a take a few minutes to center ourselves and calm our mind before we transition to an evening filled with cooking, homework and bedtime rituals?

Could Happy Hour become a time to get in a run or a HIIT workout with friends or our partner?

Could Happy Hour become a time to meet clients for "sweatworking" events instead of networking events involving hors d'oeuvres and drinks?

What if we encouraged our friends to get away for girls' weekends, and yoga retreats? What if we trained for 5Ks and half marathons together? What if Happy Hour was a tough swim session followed by girl talk in the hot tub? 

It definitely doesn't sound as sexy as "mommy needs wine," but I bet our friends would find more happiness by taking time to connect with others, share in good conversation, and bond by doing something active together. How would our lives change if, instead of meeting for drinks, we met to learn something new and share life experiences?

And if "mommy needs wine" is really just code for "mommy needs to check out for a bit," maybe we could all get better at offering to pitch in--taking the kids, swapping some meals, lightening the load in some way so that our exhausted friends can take a breather.

What do you think? Is "mommy needs wine" harmless fun? Or should we look at it as a mom friend, who is worn out, and mentally exhausted asking for a break and a little help?


If you're in the Kansas City area, I'd love to host a sweatworking event for you and your coworkers or mom friends--or even help you train for a 5K or half marathon as a group. Email me or check out my online programs. Let's have fun with friends and give them the support and encouragement they crave. 


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